A husband struggles with his in-laws frequent, extended visits which strain his marriage and privacy, despite his wife finding them helpful with childcare.
Every holiday seems to bring them here, and it feels like it’s affecting my marriage. I mentioned this to my wife, but she enjoys their visits. She says it gives her a break and appreciates their help with the kids. She always agrees when her mom wants to visit.
I hate having no privacy and I want more space. I also wish we could go on vacation too, instead of always staying home.
You and your wife should make a plan together, preferably using a calendar. Don’t wait until they arrive to discuss this.
Maybe they could visit for a few days at Easter, followed by a family getaway for you all alone. Alternatively, they could take the kids for a weekend, giving you and your wife a chance to escape as well.
Be mindful not to upset them, as they are great grandparents and help a lot with your kids. Don’t ruin that by approaching the conversation poorly. Talk calmly with your wife, avoiding blaming her parents. Aim for a compromise that allows for more time alone, and tell her you appreciate her parents’ contributions.
As a mom and grandma, I’d hate to intrude, and your in-laws probably feel the same way. You can likely find a compromise that works and makes everyone happy.
